I feel physically ill right now. As a child and a preteen I went through what can only be described as sexual molestation this was done to be by a man that was supposed to love and care for me.
My brother is remodeling the house that we grew up in and in which those events took place.
Once around the age of twelve or so I came across a small camera under my desk and told my mother. To my knowledge it was removed. Apparently it wasn’t removed but simply relocated to an air vent on my floor.
I thought I was finally over most of the “trauma” that all of that caused but everything jut seemed to come crashing back onto my psyche and I have no idea how to react. Fuck me.
These days, I’m more hole than whole, and the precious parts of me I still have left are covered in cuts from nails dug deep enough to hold on tight enough to fight for. There’s an echo in my steps from the hollow nature in my bones, and though I’m running fast towards running out, I can’t help…
Not really been feeling it this week. Everything about my life is stressing me out and upsetting me. My best friend is back and I’m ecstatic but she’s not happy and that makes me sad. Especially because I can’t fix it.
Ugh you’re fantastically annoying! My boyfriend is just that! MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND! He does not exist to get you and your sad friends alcohol whenever you so desire. It’s one thing to ask once in awhile but it’s getting old. Also, if you need his fucking number you can ask ME not my roommate. kthanks you can leave now.
It’s astounding how much you fucking annoy me! Things change so much in just a few months and I’m not even upset about it at this point. I’m just ready to be out of this fucking place. It’s bad enough I see you where I live but where I work too… that’s just too much for me and I will be so grateful when I can move. But for now I will just try to make your life as uncomfortable as possible and I don’t even care how petty that is because I dislike you way more than you think.
I figured that I would make an update about Kami… she’s great! We all have a lot in common and she’s gotten comfortable with us quite quickly which is great because we can all be slightly (read: very!) awkward. Her parents are taking us all to see the new Bond movie (daniel craig is delicious) and to dinner tonight at Ted’s. Oh did I mention that they’re filthy rich?
My new roommate is moving in on Wednesday and I don’t know how to feel about this. On one hand I am quite excited just to meet her and perhaps make a new friend but on the other hand I don’t really like change or new people. Weh we’ll see how this all pans out and I’ll update next week.